by Suzanne Darby
This week’s Torah portion is Chayei Sarah, Genesis 23:1−25:18. It is the only parasha named for a woman.
Although its name means “Life of Sarah,” the portion actually begins with her death after she has lived 127 years. Abraham negotiates for and eventually purchases the cave and land at Machpelah for her burial, thus establishing ownership in the Promised Land.
Abraham then instructs his servant to find a wife for his son Isaac; he must not select a daughter of Canaan but must return to Abraham’s homeland to find her. The servant prays to G-d to send a sign: that the right woman will offer water to him and his camels. In this way he discovers Rebecca, and asks her family if she can come with him to marry Isaac. Her family is reluctant to let her go, but she agrees to leave, along with her servant.
Upon seeing Isaac as she reaches Abraham’s home, dismounts from her camel and covers herself with a veil. Isaac takes her into Sarah’s tent, and Rebecca becomes Isaac’s wife and Isaac loves Rebecca.
Abraham takes another wife and fathers six more sons, but Abraham gives all he owns to Isaac and only gifts to his other children. Abraham dies and Isaac and Ishmael bury him next to Sarah. G-d blesses Isaac.
Traditionally, we speak of our patriarchs, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Only fairly recently has Reform Judaism included the names of Sarah, Rebecca, Leah, and Rachel to our prayers, as in the Tefilah; just look at our prayer books printed in the ’80s and ’90s and you will see that our matriarchs are left out.
The addition of our matriarchs should not be viewed as a concession to feminist demands. Rather, we should challenge the rationale that left them off for the past 2,000 years. Our matriarchs are just as carefully selected and blessed as our patriarchs.
According to the Torah, Abraham fathers eight sons but it is made very clear – even before he is born — that it will be Sarah’s son, Isaac, who will carry on the heritage: When Abraham suggests to God that Ishmael could serve, God confirms that he will bless Ishmael and will “make him into a great nation. But it is with Isaac, whom Sarah will bear for you … that I will establish My covenant.” After Sarah dies and Abraham remarries, there are six more sons, all mentioned by name. But it is Sarah’s son who will carry Abraham’s legacy and our heritage. Abraham is the father of all but Sarah is the mother of only Isaac, giving birth in her old age. Sarah is the critical other half of Isaac’s and therefore our covenant’s parentage.
When Abraham and his servant seek a wife for Isaac, they are searching for a woman from Abraham’s own clan but also a woman who demonstrates kindness and courage. Interestingly, Abraham tells his servant that under no circumstances to bring Isaac with him, back to his homeland. The servant’s prayers are answered by the appearance of Rebekah, who is beautiful, chaste, and available for marriage. She immediately provides water not only for the servant but for his camels as well. She takes him to her father’s home where he repeats his story, and the family acknowledges that this is G-d’s plan. The family tries to hold her back, but Rebecca is not only beautiful and kind but of a strong will and immediately agrees to go.
Once again, we witness that another one of our matriarchs is not a random person, but someone of essential character and strength. After his near sacrifice and his mother’s death, Isaac needs comforting, and Rebecca provides that support in Sarah’s tent. Without this strong woman, we may wonder and question if Isaac could have kept with G-d. He is never allowed to leave the Promised Land, although all the other patriarchs do at one time or another. He never demonstrates the strength of belief we see in Abraham, Jacob, and Joseph. We know he allows himself to be easily tricked by both his wife and his son Jacob. Isaac is not the strong link between Abraham and Jacob, but Rebecca has taken matters into her own hands.
When we look forward in the Torah, we know that Rebecca will not only give birth to Esau and Jacob but she will ensure that the stronger son, the son more committed to G-d, will inherit the covenant and bring forth our heritage. We may not admire Rebecca’s cunning ways of fooling her husband and stealing Esau’s birthright for Jacob, but we acknowledge that her actions allow for our covenant to continue to this very day.
Our matriarchs must be admired as strongly as our patriarchs. They are anointed with the same level of care for their commitment to G-d. They equally have great strengths and human flaws.
So the next time you pray, think of each of these great leaders and the lessons we learn from both the men and the women.
Shabbat Shalom.