Recently, I celebrated the 50th anniversary of bar Mitzvah and I thought it might be a good time to reflect on this important Jewish Life Cycle from the point of view of a Rabbi.
A student of mine was surprised when I showed up at his home after he missed his appointment with me, he said “What are you doing here?” I answered “I’m here for your lesson.” Without dropping a beat he clutched his stomach and said “I have a stomach ache.” I waited. When he returned he said “You’re still here?” Eventually, at his Bar Mitzvah he stood at the pulpit about to begin and turning to me said “I can’t do this!” I answered loud enough for his parents to hear, “Have courage!.” He did fine!
The Hazzanet is a list-serve of Jewish professionals who discuss problems affecting Cantors, Rabbis, Synagogues, and Jewish life. Currently, there is a discussion concerning Bar/Bat Mitzvah. The issue being discussed centers on content and understanding, verses, knowing the rituals, the melodies, the traditions.
In thinking about this, some of the related discussion centered on the shift from Cantors and Rabbis who train students to teachers, tutors, and para-professionals including volunteers. The cantorial profession is concerned today in that there are so many programs, tutors, and “knowledgeable” volunteers, that they are wondering if they have a future, and this is a good question.
Two years ago the Jewish Theological Seminary made a move to consolidate the Cantorial School into the main school. Many cantors expressed concern that this would undermine cantors and lead towards the end of recognition of cantors as representatives of the Jewish Community. Recently, the Hebrew Union College renamed the School of Sacred Music, the Debbie Friedman School of Sacred Music, raising more questions about the nature of what is being taught, and the identity of Hazzanim as clergy or as song leaders.
My purpose is not to address this big issue, rather the issue of Bar/Bat Mitzvah. In training students, and I have trained between 1500 and 2000 students successfully, I know that being a cantor or a rabbi lends authority to what is being done. Having someone who is a rabbi/hazzan or a congregational representative, such as Yasha, or Randi or Pat, does more than teach the student the ‘how to’ of the process.
What is most important is that families and children see a role model even if they are a volunteer they can identify with in an institution such as a Temple or Synagogue, someone who welcomes them, knows them by name, and will be part of their life in the future. A tutor, while they may be effective, can be less effective, for they can be the tutor of the year and say good-by. Where does that leave a family? Now there could be an exception when a volunteer is part of a congregation and has a vested interest in the success of the process. Yet, that individual must continue some connection to the Temple in a way that a professional cantor/rabbi would also be establishing.
My goal is always to increase love of Judaism, to increase participation in Jewish life, to increase the performance of mitzvot whether they be rituals or tzedakah projects, to increase kindness. Bar/Bat Mitzvah (including for adult B’nei Mitzvah) is a powerful component of Judaism, which celebrates religious coming of age for performing mitzvot, and celebrates the individual and family in the process.
For a Bar/Bat Mitzvah we require Hebrew reading to some degree, although some of the discussion asked whether a child could be Bar/Bat Mitzvah even without Hebrew reading? What is the answer? We hope that it is affirmative!
Not everyone can learn a language, not everyone can master the skills, yet their intention may be just as strong about fulfilling the commandments. I had a student who had great difficulty for many lessons and months. He could not learn the Hebrew. One day he showed up at my office with his father, invited me into the hallway where there stood a Torah Ark which he had constructed. He wanted me to know that he cared about Judaism but could not learn the Hebrew. His intention was right, but he needed an alternative way of expressing it.
What do we teach? We teach basic prayers for Torah and Haftorah, prayers of the service, the Torah text and Haftorah text. We go over meaning many times and in spite of this some students tell their parents that they don’t understand what their reading. I cannot explain this except that responsibility begins by assuming that the student has to do a good part of the work, and not just the teacher.
Bar/Bat Mitzvah is a way of holding a young person accountable for something they do. Someone is listening, someone will be checking their work, and someone will support them in a service, and in the future. That is what is missing for many, namely, an opportunity to have a connection with someone who is dedicated to religious life, practice, study, and training while representing a synagogue or Temple.
The argument is an old argument regarding ‘content’ verses ‘form’. The rabbinic argument would definitely say its more important to know, to understand, to interpret. The cantorial argument is that form, practice, tradition, music in our heritage, rituals, davening, praying, being in the community is the purpose.
Both arguments are right – She’s right and she’s right!
The content cannot exist without form, and Rabbi Saltzman adds that form has its very own content. What is an evening service, a kiddush, a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, a seder, but form and content combined. What is the music of a sonata without its form?
A number of years ago a group of men said they were trying to organize an Adult Bar Mitzvah Class. One of my rabbinic colleagues was reluctant, although I’m not sure why, so I offered to get the class started. Soon my colleague and I were both teaching over twenty men in the first classes. We couldn’t teach them enough since they were hungry for leaning. To our surprise, all of them had never had Bar Mitzvah. I know that Sha’are Shalom celebrated a memorable Adult Bat Mitzvah service for several B’not Mitzvah this summer.
We taught our class of Adult Bar Mitzvah students – Hebrew, prayers for the service, the structure of the service, the Grace after meals, the welcoming of Shabbat, along with History, Holidays, and yes, chanting of the Torah and the Haftorah. As a result of that class, some of the men read at weekday services and shabbat services, they went on to teach others, and they served on ritual committees. We took 18 months for the first group, and immediately began a second group which was equally successful.
I can say that we were able to teach the beauty of our tradition. In addition the Washington Post did a feature story on the event. Of course we, Rabbi Jeff Wohlberg and I, followed years of Adult B’not Mitzvah Classes taught by Rabbi Chaim Listfield and Rabbi Avis Miller.
Seeing this life cycle as a great gateway to Judaism is part of our purpose. It can be accomplished in a most effective way by Rabbis, Cantors, Educational directors and volunteers so that we can establish a system of guiding people in life, helping them to cope with life’s difficulties while at the same time walking in the way of our traditions and ancestors, celebrating life itself. We can be good guides on this derech, on this way of life.
I am happy to know that the Bar/Bat process which invites God, performs Mitzvot, welcomes family and tradition is one which continues to elevate life.
I have not emphasized the excesses of Bar/Bat Mitzvah which focus totally on party. We are taught that in life there are not enough celebrations, therefore we should celebrate when we have the opportunity. Yet, I would be remiss if I did not say to anyone who asked me that I would recommend being more modest and tasteful in such celebrations, lest we ignore the suffering and need which exists all around us in our world. We need to be sensitive to others – for Hillel taught: “Love your neighbor, as yourself. That is the whole Torah. Now go and study!”